#KONY2012

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of the whole viral campaign #KONY2012, which was started by the guys behind Invisible Children. If you haven’t, then I suggest Googling it (or just click on the link). Now you’d think that the campaign would receive strictly good press because of the cause and the awareness it is spreading about said cause, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. To tell you the truth, I’m not 100 percent behind #KONY2012 myself, mainly due to the guy behind it all, Jason Russell.

This guy is pretty much as annoying as he looks like he would be. Russell, a USC film grad, looks like your typical hipster douche from a wealthy southern California family. I mean, if that picture isn’t enough for you, the man named his child Gavin. Oh come on, Jason, you’re making it too easy for us.

Now, I’m not saying that this campaign is all bad, because by no means is it. It’s good that the awareness is coming out. But the way in which Russell is presenting himself and profiting off Kony and the LRA is pretty tacky. Even though it seems like Invisible Children is non-profit, it is profit, and Russell is pocketing millions off the merchandise he sells, like those “cool” leather bracelets with the words “INVISIBLE CHILDREN” etched into them. In fact, the Today Show reported that only 32 percent -THIRTY TWO PERCENT -goes directly to help kids in Uganda.

Russell also has this messiah complex that is not only so strong that you can see it when he poses like a modern day Jesus in pictures with all those Ugandan children, but it’s downright off putting. Some quotes regarding the recent Kony video and movement:

i feel pretty oh so pretty

So the Oscars are today, and I’ll probably stream them online or something. But more importantly, we will get to see Oscar dresses! I mean, that’s really the only reason to watch the Oscars, let’s be real. Anyway, here are my predictions of who will be (or rather, should be) wearing what.

This is Elie Saab Couture from the Spring/Summer 12 collection. It’s almost a sickeningly candy pink color, and it’s ultra girly with the flowery frills, but I could see someone like Octavia Spencer totally rocking this dress. It has the perfect boatneck and I think the color would look really stunning against her skin tone. I can guarantee that at least two A/B+ list celebrities will be wearing Elie Saab.

This mint dream is also Elie Saab SS12. Wow. The dress is seriously one of the most gorgeous dresses I’ve ever seen, I mean, LOOK AT IT. Anyway, I could see someone like Anne Hathaway rocking this with her alabaster skin. Or, actually, you know who would look absolutely stunning in this dress? Evan Rachel Wood. Especially with her golden strawberry hair.

This Dress is Marchesa Fall 12. I love how the bottom looks kind of like a cloud. I can see Cate Blanchett working this, or someone who is really skinny and elegant, like Keira Knightly, except I think she’s too young to wear this dress. She needs to wear something more fun, not that this dress isn’t fun, but you know.

This is J. Mendel F12. This dress reminds me of a sexy peacock, is that weird? Yes, it is but you know what? That’s just how I see it. Anyway, I could see Charlize Theron (even though bitch only wears Dior nowadays, WTF) or someone else who is really fashion-y and skinny wearing this. Or Kristen Wiig could potentially pull this off because she’s tall and skinny. Yes, she’s not your typical sexy gal, but maybe tonight she will stun us all.

This Christian Dior Couture Spring/Summer 12 stunner needs to be worn by Rooney Mara. It’s sexy yet scary, in the best way of course. I’m kind of sick of seeing Rooney wear all black, it’s like  “OK WE GET IT ALREADY- YOU WERE LISBETH SALANDER” so I think this would be the best way to change up her look a little bit. It’s still dark and roguish, but it’s a nice plum color and the subtle sparkles around the collar make it something new for Rooney.

So there you have it, my Oscar Dress predictions. Hopefully the dresses this year will be legit.

Yes, I still dislike Chris Brown

Like Jay-Z, I am not impressed with Chris Brown or the love for Chris Brown.

 

embarrassing dreamboats, a history

In honor of Valentine’s Day I have compiled a list of people that I’ve had aching, albeit embarrassing, crushes on.  Yes, I readily admit to crushing on dorks, people you wouldn’t necessarily think of as “attractive,” as well as fictional characters and the like. In fact, the majority of the people I crush on are not your typical “Ashton Kutcher/Zac Efron/Insert popular male actor here” types. I’m not saying that I don’t find Ashton and Zac unattractive, but given the choice, yeah, I might just choose someone else. I have no shame. Well, maybe a little.

But you know what?  Sometimes the best kind of crush is the unsuspecting kind.

Let’s take a journey back…

I wish I had Channing Tatum’s voice

“YOU KNOW, I’VE BEEN FEELUN’ THIS WAY FOR A LUNG TIYME”

“I’M FEELUN’ SUMTHIN’ SO REEEAL RIGHT NAO”

“BABY GURL, YOU KNOW I’M FEELUN’ YOU”

“YE, YOU KNOW HOW I DOOO”

Channing Tatum. Yes, it’s another post involving everyone’s favorite quasi-ghetto white boy from Tampa. He has a really weird way of talking that makes me want to learn how to talk like him as well as it makes me want to have him narrate everything. I don’t even know how to explain how he talks, but it’s some kind of romantic ghetto white boy mixed with southern gentleman. IDK.

To sound like him, you kind of have to talk like you have a medium size jawbreaker in your mouth and have had a few sips of the wine sitting in that box in your fridge. Then just talk about stuff like love and sports and being with one girl for the rest of your life.

The Vow, among other things

As you may know, The Vow is coming out for Valentine’s Day this year -and no, it’s not a Nicholas Sparks book made into a movie. Apparently it’s “inspired by true events,” but that could mean that there was a girl who lost her memory and she was married. I don’t know.

Anyway, this film is about a girl (Rachel McAdams) who is married to a guy (Channing Tatum), and everything about their life together is all magical and butterflies, that is until they get into a car accident and she forgets that she even has a husband. So pretty much I’m going to assume that the rest of the film is him trying to win her back through romantic gestures (watch the trailer on YouTube).

Now, I have nothing against these kinds of movies, I mean, other than that they display sickeningly cute stories that are unattainable to us simple, real folk. For one, girls in real life usually don’t look like Rachel McAdams. Two, men in real life usually don’t look like Channing Tatum (or at least have the body he has). Three, both men and women aren’t ever as charming as they are in the movies; call me a cynic but I’d like to think of myself as a realistic kind of gal. I’m not saying that there aren’t some adorable couples out there that seem to be pretty close to the couple portrayed in The Vow, but believe me, I know a helluva lot more who are seriously dysfunctional compared to McAdams and Gosling -I mean, Tatum.

So… Romantic comedies. One time I took a film class in high school and one of the movie genres we looked at was the romantic comedy, and my teacher at the time told us that he had chosen the movies he did because he had an aversion to romantic comedies, or as he called them, chick flicks. I actually really liked this teacher and I thought he was hilarious, and don’t worry, he wasn’t some creepy bachelor against love -he was actually expecting a baby at the time, but he did express the feelings that so many men have towards romantic comedies, or as they like to call them, chick flicks.

But here’s the thing, not all romantic comedies are chick flicks, and not all chick flicks are romantic comedies. Um, Beaches anyone? That s*** was not funny, but it is definitely a movie that only women usually enjoy. Or take His Girl Friday, one of the movies my teacher picked for his romantic comedy genre -this movie isn’t a chick flick. Men enjoy it too. I think more classic movies like HGF are in the rom com category rather than the chick flick/rom com category.

The other rom com that my teacher chose was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is one of my favorite movies. ESOTSM is a movie that is definitely a rom com and not a chick flick. It’s quirky and romantic without being overtly romantic, subtly romantic -sneaky romantic, maybe.

I think that’s the main difference -that rom coms are sneaky in the way that the fit romance into the plot, whereas chick flicks are all about the gooey, butterflies-in-the-stomach type of romance -they lay it all out for you. But here’s the real tricky thing, some movies qualify as the subtle and cerebral type of romance -rom coms- but at the same time, men would probably hate renting them, for whatever reason. Like Sliding Doors, I like that movie because it’s cute but not too cute. The plot isn’t just romance, it’s about a woman finding herself. But at the same time, there is a good deal of romance and relationship talk, not to mention the fact that  men would probably not enjoy it much either. I don’t know why, but whenever there’s a charming man with an accent, guys don’t seem to like it. I think they find it threatening.

Anyway, as much as we all claim to dislike rom coms and how they stretch reality, isn’t that why we go to the movies? To escape from reality?

hey freshman! we’re gonna lie to you from the start! enjoy college!

Okay, so I volunteer at the Wisconsin Admissions Volunteer place, which basically means that I get free pizza and pop and sit around calling accepted high school seniors, asking them what they want to know about UW Madison.

I like doing it because:

1. I’m a chatterbox
2. I love talking to random people (thanks mom!)
3. I like advising high school students (one of my future dream jobs is being a high school counselor)

Anyway, I like being honest with kids because I was once where they were and I know that I liked it when people were honest about their schools. Also, it’s not like I’m saying things like “THIS IS WHERE YOU CAN BUY ALCOHOL UNDERAGE!” or “THAT FRAT IS KNOWN FOR ROOFIE-ING GIRLS!” I mean, hello, we want them to come to UW Madison.

I was talking to this girl who lives in Virginia (who actually went to a high school near where I’m from) and she asked about the dorms and yes, I told her what I know about the dorms. So I said, “well, honestly, southeast is more lenient when it comes to noise and stuff, and it also has a reputation for being kind of more ‘party’ than lakeshore, but honestly it just depends on what you make of where you are. You’ll find people who are into what you’re into everywhere. And lakeshore is more quiet and kind of more out of the way when it comes to classes, but like I said, it depends on what you major in and where your classes are.” So this supervisor lady, who isn’t even that much older than me, comes up to me and scolds me on the importance of being neutral and not having a bias for southeast. UM, HELLO, I DON’T HAVE A BIAS. IT’S CALLED TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. Seriously, if you think I have a bias towards southeast then it’s kind of obvious that you’re inferring that there’s a bias when really I was just giving honest facts about both dormitories. And the girl I was talking to actually said “oh I like the quiet! Good to know.” So if anything, I was giving her a lakeshore bias -even though I wasn’t giving any type of bias at all.

Maybe I have something against authority, but when she confronted me I didn’t back down or apologize, which in hindsight might have been not the nicest, but you know what, I always have good conversations with these high school seniors and they always thank me for telling about the differences of lakeshore and southeast. Living in certain places can really effect the beginning of your college experience, believe me, I know people who have considered switching schools because they hated where they lived and wanted to be somewhere else -but noooo, you can’t tell kids what’s really up with the different dorms!

Then she went on to scold me for talking to this girl for over 10 minutes. Uh…

1. You guys never told us there was a time limit.
2. What, do you want me to be like, “OH HEY OUR TIME IS UP SO YOU CAN GO ONLINE AND LOOK UP THE STUFF YOURSELF” ?-Yeah, that’s really going to encourage some incoming freshman into wanting to come here if the people who are supposed to help them say stuff like that.
3. We had flow.
4. Speaking as a former incoming freshman, I loved talking to older students because they were knowledgable about their college. I mean, why else would you take this volunteering job?

Personally, I find it dumb that she had to scold me on being honest and open with these kids, as well as having legitimate conversations with them -but what do I know? I’m a lowly volunteer.

GOP

As the Florida Primary is about to begin, I realize now how sick I am of Newt Gingrich. I mean, I’ve never really liked the guy but seriously, the stuff he says is actually mental institution admittance criteria. I really like watching the GOP debates because it’s just hilarious and awkward to see them fight one another. It’s also very predictable. That’s why I have established a drinking game —

WARNING: use with extreme caution, you could end up drinking yourself to death

Take a sip every time…

1. The audience boos/cheers about something that normal people would not boo or cheer for.
2. Mitt Romney’s taxes are mentioned.
3. Newt Gingrich attacks the moderator.
4. There is a reference to three different candidates winning three different states.
5. Gingrich makes a reference to Ronald Reagan/him being a Ronald Reagan conservative.
6. Good ol’ Uncle Paul has a confused look of bewilderment on his face -not to be confused with his confused look of not understanding a joke was being made.
7. Rick Santorum makes a reference to him winning in a predominantly working class Pennsylvania democratic constituency.
8. Romney mentions that he worked at Bain Capital.
9. Santorum has the look of utter disgust and confusion on his face.
10. Space colonies are mentioned.

Anyway, the other day I watched the GOP Florida debate, and pretty much all I gleaned from that was that…

1. Ron Paul, bless his soul, is probably going to die soon so we shouldn’t elect him.
2. Rick Santorum should just quit now and save himself money and the inevitable embarrassment of just existing past Florida.
3. Mitt Romney needs to watch his own ads.
4. Wolf Blitzer is a BAMF. (Especially compared to John King).
5. Newsflash, Newt is still a d-bag and his wife is still creepy as hell.

What I really found interesting was that one of the questions asked was “why would your wife be the best first lady?” Okay, am I the only one who thinks that question is just awkward and kind of insulting? It’s like, really? Do we need to know that your Mars Attacks wife plays the French Horn? Should I care? NO. Many people play the French Horn. My own mother plays the French Horn (for serious). How does playing the French Horn make her stand out? How does it even portray her as a person? Are we supposed to like her just because she can play an instrument? Ugh.

I also watched MissRepresentation yesterday and found out that our country SUCKS when it comes to equal representation of men and women in the political process. GAH. I think we’re ranked 90th in the world in accordance to the amount of women in higher political office, which means that we’re behind obvious places like Sweden, and quite surprising places like Cuba. CUBA, PEOPLE. Yeah.

I think it is so unfortunate that women in politics, regardless of the candidate’s wife or the actual candidate, are judged on their outer appearance. And what is even more unfortunate is that women are lumped in two categories, they are either hot, MILFy, and stupid (Sarah Palin) or smart, shrewish, and asexual (Hillary Clinton). This even occurs in the news media with anchors, like those blondes on Fox compared to someone like Rachel Maddow (even though I think she’s prettier than them, and I have proof because I met her in real life when she was just walking down the street and she was dressed casually with no makeup and she was seriously just gorgeous).

It just seriously bothers me.

 

oscar snubs, and why the oscars don’t really matter

One thing that I have grown accustom to is watching those Oscar bait movies that always end up occurring at the end of the year -so they’re able to qualify for the upcoming Oscars whilst still being fresh in Academy voters’ minds.

Now, of course, the Oscars have always been a source of debate over who should be nominated, which spills over to the who should have been nominated and who should not have been nominated categories. This year, for whatever reason, it seems like many people who deserved to be nominated didn’t get nominated.

Personally, the Oscars are, and have been, extremely political. Voters also like to give the awards to people who have “earned” it over their career -see Kate Winslet, Nicole Kidman, no doubt Leonardo DiCaprio in about five years. To me, this is bull s***. Can’t you give them a freaking lifetime achievement Oscar? Yes, the merit isn’t exactly the same, but it doesn’t make sense to give what is essentially a pity award to someone undeserving for their current work over someone who truly deserved the award. Unfortunately, the Oscar voters are crotchety old men who are probably more senile than critical.

Anyway, in my opinion, one of the most deserving actors was left off of the list this year -Shailene Woodley for her role in The Descendants. I think she carried the film more so than George Clooney, who was nominated for best actor. Maybe voters couldn’t get over the fact that she’s on The Secret Life of the American Teenager, or maybe they thought hey! She’s young, she’s still got time. Whatever the reason, I think it’s a shame and a most definite snub to Woodley. I think it is also safe to say that the Academy gave Woodley’s spot to Jessica Chastain in The Help, which, while her performance was good, was more worthy of a Golden Globe nom. It was cute, campy, and Chastain pulled it off, but it wasn’t really a hard role to handle in the first place.

Even though the Oscars are seen as the “be all, end all” of the movie world, I really think they’re becoming more and more irrelevant, which is a good thing. Not as many people watch the Oscars, and as a young adult, I can tell you that the strong majority of my friends could not care any less about what movie wins or who gets nominated.

We need to stop glorifying the Oscars for what we perceive them to be. Sure, acting can be tough, but the awards we should really care about are the Nobel Prize and the Pulitzer, among others. Personally, I think it’s a good thing that we’re moving away from the prestige of awards, even though it’s also scary to think that entertainment is becoming just variations of Keeping up with the Kardashians and Jersey Shore. I’m hopeful but I’m not stupid.

WELL PLAYED, PARKS AND REC

The other week Parks and Rec came back on and saved my sanity. Seriously, I do not know how I went five weeks without that show. Anyway, it came back and it did so in the best way possible -a seriously hilarious episode filled with BEN WYATT.

For those of you who don’t know who Ben Wyatt is, he’s pretty much the new Jim Halpert. Actually, he’s like Jim Halpert and then some. Personally, I think Ben Wyatt is the more mature and slightly more neurotic version of Jim Halpert. What’s not to love?

In the episode Ben is unemployed and pretty much just sits around all day making his claymation video and wearing a Letters to Cleo t-shirt.

Tumblr was abuzz over the fact that Ben called claymation “claymaysh,” that he was wearing a Letters to Cleo t-shirt, and that he developed an idea involving low calorie calzones. I mean, what more could one want? Obviously nothing, and that is why I’m giving a tip of my hat to the writers on P&R.

They have made a character who is cynical yet charming, into weird determined feminist chicks, has great taste in music, is smart, cute, sensible yet imaginative, funny both unintentionally and sometimes intentionally, geeky, and just all-around adorable.  Plus, he’s played by the seriously underrated Adam Scott (even though Friends with Kids was HORRIBLE -we can forgive him, he was Henry on Party Down).

So Ben Wyatt and the writers of P&R, I salute you. You’ve made a character that is like Edward Cullen without being Edward Cullen. God Bless you.