Tag Archives: lmfao

gummy bears ain’t for adolescents anymore… well, actually they still are, but now they’re DANGEROUS

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In a recent Huff Post article of groundbreaking investigative journalism, the perils of gummy bears soaked in alcohol were finally revealed to horrified parents everywhere. Yes, believe it or not, teens are currently stuffing their mouths with gummy bears drenched in vodka, an “edgy” new take on what was always an innocent and childlike snack.

The article, which calls teen drinking one of “the scariest things” a parent will have to worry about, describes the harrowing trend in lurid details:

And what’s more frightening, is how clever they’ve become about hiding the act from parents. Once upon a time, teens stole alcohol from their parents, so keeping a close watch on your own liquor cabinet was a fine way to curb the problem. But today, their creativity puts the old trick of refilling bottles with Sprite to shame. And the latest trend in undercover drinking is especially savvy – especially around Halloween time.

Teens are using gummy candy (bears and worms to be exact) to get drunk. They soak the candy in alcohol, Keloland.com reports.

HOLY F***! I thought we only had to worry about girls dipping their tampons in vodka and stuffing them up their vaginas in a way to get crunk fast and without the excess calories, but no, now we must also worry about the gummy bear, which has the ability to reach both sexes.

Who knew those little suckers could pack such a huge punch? Well, I for one am surprised and disgusted -and I mean disgusted both literally and figuratively. As in, yeah, that’s a disgusting trend and yeah, vodka and sugary gummy bears are disgusting enough to make me barf within eating five bears.

Let me tell you, as someone who may or may not have legally tried the gummy bear soaked in vodka, this trend is something to seriously worry about. Why? Well, one, because teens LOVE candy and alcohol -perfect combination. Two, they are so tiny that you won’t know what hit you until you end up in the ICU with broken bones and a stomach pump. And finally, three, because, well, who doesn’t want to just sit around and eats hundreds upon hundreds of delightfully colored bears to get a buzz instead of having to sneak a shot glass and pour yourself a few? The answer is obvious -TEENS WILL TAKE THE GUMMY BEAR WAY. Taking shots is just too much effort, too time consuming, and it tastes bad. Duh. Gummy bears are delicious, fun, and you won’t taste the alcohol at all! I mean, yeah, you’ll have to literally consume hundreds to get a buzz, but hey, it’s the easier way, trust me.

Oh and parents -watch out for these babies…

(and you thought the lil’ guys were scary…)

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all the proof you needed

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TRUE LOVE ACTUALLY EXISTS,

as tragic as it might be.

So I was on tumblr (yes, I have tumblr) and I came upon this gem of a story. I have no idea why, but I started laughing out loud. It’s so dumb but I couldn’t stop laughing. I made a mental note to remember this story whenever I feel down and need some cheering up. Too much lolz.

‎*1 dai gurl n boi r mekin out. dey r in luv.

gurl stops meking out n asks boi to get poptartz.

he dus.

den gurl teks deep breff. den gurl sais “bf i am pregnent will u stay ma bf” n he seys “no”.

gurl iz hertbrokn. </////3

gurl criez n runz awaii from boi wiffout eatin poptart n she has low blood suga so she fols.

boi runs ova 2 her.

she ded. </333333333

boi crie “i sed i no b ur bf…cus i wona b ur husband!”

he screems n frows poptart @ wol… a bootiful diomand ring wus insyd.

♥ rglob if u crey always. tru luv iz unfare.

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upcoming titles from some of your favorite artists

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Lady Gaga

UNICORN.blood.TEARS

Chola Garden

I Am Related… To Jesus

Mother Monster MILF

Born 2 B Bi

Leather Latex Lady Liberty

I Am In Love With The Following LGBT People: Alexander McQueen, Ellen DeGeneres, The Dad From The Brady Bunch, Alexander The Great, and Suze Orman

Kanye West

The King Has Come (I’m Referring To Myself)

Hatred (I Am Hated)

2nd Coming Of Our Lord The Savior (Still Referring To Myself)

S.P.E.C.I.E.S. (Super Powerful Emaciated Crowns Inside Evil Surrogates)

King And Queen And The Rest Of The M*****F****** Court (If You Don’t Understand That I Am Still Referring To Myself Then You’re Dumb)

LOL WHITE PEOPLE PT. I

LOL WHITE PEOPLE PT. II (feat. Rihanna, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and special guests Eminem and Bon Iver)

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