I hate Twilight.
I once tried to read the first book in the series, aptly named Twilight, and I literally couldn’t finish it because it was so poorly written. Seriously, the way Stephenie Meyer (yes, she actually spells Stephanie like that; if I was her I would change it) writes is comparable to the kind of fan fiction you find online that is written by some overdramatic teen girl who likes dangly earrings because she thinks they make her look sophisticated.
I’m actually offended that my sister loves the Twilight series. I was even more offended when she compared them to HARRY POTTER. Seriously, I cannot.
Here’s the thing. In HP4 GoF (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, google it), Robert Pattinson played Cedric Diggory -hottie wizard, overachiever, Hufflepuff’s greatest and only accomplishment. I remember watching GoF and fanning myself because he was so good looking. Let’s revisit:
Oh dear goodness.
When I heard he was going to be cast as Edward Cullen, the hottest vampire ever, I was excited regardless that it was a dumb book because I thought RPattz was hot enough to overlook that detail. Ha. Oh how wrong I was.
Seriously? This is the best you can do? He is pale and weird and sparkly and just all-around not cute. Damn.
But thankfully Water for Elephants decided to come out and we were given this:
Much better. He now has a better haircut, is tan, and most of all, he’s not a sparkly, possessive vampire.