your guide to a sexy halloween

I feel like I should use some sort of winky face. 😉

I feel like winky faces make the most simple and unsexy things instantly sexier.

Anyway, Halloween is fast approaching and for girls all over the United States, it’s the time of year where you can get away with looking like a total slut. Tina Fey said it best in her script for the instant classic, Mean Girls.

In the real world, Halloween is a night when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In ‘Girl World’, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

You really can’t, most likely because you’re probably dressed up like a bigger slut than your friend. Anyway, I was talking to my friend today and we were discussing how people come up with the funniest “sexy” costumes for Halloween. You can literally take anything -and I mean ANYTHING -and make it into “slutty”/”sexy.”

We thought of a great idea that history buffs will love. I present to you:

SLUTTY BETSY ROSS!

Known as the lady who made the first American flag, Betsy Ross is not only a classic figure from the Revolution, but she’s also a super easy Halloween costume.

There are certain ways you can pull off this outfit, the sluttiest one being just an American flag draped over your naked body. That might get a little cold though, especially for Sconnies. Instead, buy a large American flag t-shirt (50 bucks says they’re at Wal-Mart) and cut the top for a shoulder-baring look. From there, feel free to cut some more holes or even fade the colors with some bleach.

The next step is a simple pair of boyshorts, or maybe denim cutoffs if you’re really into that redneck look. You can also wear a bonnet if you feel like it, but it’s not required. Apply makeup and do your hair, the end result should be something like this:

There you go! Slutty Betty Ross. Ben Franklin would be so proud.

Jezebel Blogger

Halloween Costume Idea #1 -Jezebel.com blogger

I’m sure some of you have heard of the website Jezebel, which talks about fashion, sex, and celebrity culture for women. They’re the ones who got up in arms about Olivia Munn being hired on The Daily Show. And if you watch 30 Rock, Tina Fey spoofed them with a website called “Joan of Snark.” Tee hee.

I was having a hard time trying to come up with some Halloween costume ideas that were original yet not too obscure. I don’t really know how I thought of it, but I kind of like the idea if I do say so myself.

While not everyone has heard about Jezebel, I’m sure many have, including many of my college-aged friends. I know a lot of people who find it informational and interesting, but who also don’t take it too seriously and can laugh about how the bloggers get really passionate about certain things (*cough*Olivia Munn*cough*). I don’t mind Jezebel, in fact, I frequent the website pretty regularly. Yet, I definitely think Jezebel has kind of made itself into a parody of itself, which is sort of hard to understand but I think you’ll get it if and when you go to the site.

Anyway, let’s get on with the costume.